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Getting OnTrack July 2009 |
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Written by Terry Brown
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Monday, 13 July 2009 |
 Finding Our Way Out of Overspending
By Palm Springs Guides Financial Guide Terry Brown
As I promised in the June article, this month I will continue talking about the issue of overspending. In June, I wrote a bit about the problem. This month, let’s begin to focus on some of the solutions.
Money is really not the issue. As I mentioned in last month’s article, overspending is a reaction to an unmet need. And remember, WE CAN NEVER GET ENOUGH OF WHAT WE DON’T NEED! The real issue is what money represents to you.
For some overspenders, money equals love and they spend money on gifts and helping others to the extent that they no longer are meeting their own needs.
For other overspenders, buying things may act as a comfort tool, calming down tension or stress or even fear.
For yet others, money can mean self esteem, so they buy expensive clothes, cars and such that are beyond their means.
I knew a man who stocked up on all kinds of things, stuffing his closets full, even though he had no need of them at the time. There had been so much deprivation when he was growing up, that he was always afraid of being without and there would never be enough. For him, money (in the form of “stuff”) represented security. These are just a few examples; there are many others.
What need in you is going unmet? As you begin to work at changing your overspending behaviors, pay attention to the feelings that come up for you. Sit quietly with them and listen. It may help to write them down and think about from where these feeling originate.
To get started living in the solution, you may want to try some of these tips:
- Do not shop for entertainment purposes; avoid malls. If you do go, bring only enough money, say for lunch, and leave the credit cards at home!
- When you think you need something, such as clothing, a new TV, expensive tools or dishes, first wait 24 hours. During that time, ask yourself, “Is this really something I need, or do I just want it? Do I already own these things that would serve the purpose just as well?”
- If you determine that you do need to buy something, decide ahead of time what you can afford to spend and stick to that amount.
- When shopping for multiple items, first make a list and do not buy anything not on the list.
- Never buy anything for which you cannot pay cash. If you cannot pay cash, you cannot afford it.
- If you are buying a gift for someone, what is the occasion? Is it just “because”? If so, what is it that you are wanting: to spend time with that person; make them feel loved; feel good about yourself? When you have that answer, think of ways you can accomplish those things with spending little to no money.
- When possible, contribute to a group gift rather than buying your own.
- Pay yourself first (by putting some money in savings), before spending any discretionary money.
When you make a change, regardless of how small, reward yourself in some way that costs little to no money. Take a walk in your favorite place, have a friend over for dinner and a movie, enjoy the beach, whatever would feel like a “good job!” activity.
And remember — change is hard, so be gentle on yourself. People never change when they feel too bad about themselves. Only by validating yourself for your strengths will you gain the confidence to look at your weaknesses.
We have just touched the surface regarding the issue of overspending. So many struggle with this problem, and feelings of regret and shame can become a daily burden. But as we talked a bit about in this article, there is a solution. The biggest steps you can take are to have an attitude of willingness, don’t give up no matter how many times you slip up, reward progress, and surround yourself with people who understand to support you.
Overspending is just one issue people have about money; there are countless other. Change can be difficult, but it also can mean a happier, more fulfilled life.
As a financial counselor, I walk hand-in-hand with you to a new relationship with money. Not only will you learn solid, effective money management tools that will bring you clarity and control, we will also investigate and work at changing self-defeating money behaviors. These two approaches, when brought together, can result in lifelong change and a relationship with money that is in line with your personal values and goals.
If you would like to discuss financial counseling please call me at (760) 360-5543, or (425) 212-9558, or my cell at (206) 713-2338.
To learn more about Terry Brown, click here.
 Palm Springs Guides Financial Guide Terry Brown in a Certified Financial Counselor and helps anyone who wants to improve their relationship with money. She uses a process that brings clarity, control and security with client’s money management and habits.
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Last Updated ( Monday, 13 July 2009 )
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